Why am I so stubborn?
Why do I fear Your rejection?
I'm so terrified to let go of this control,
That I think I have over my life.
I'm terrified deep inside.
Terrified that You have left me.
Terrified that I'm singled out.
That You love others more than You love me.
I know You love me.
Your Word says it's true.
But I'm so terrified,
That I'm not good enough for You.
I've got so many downfalls.
It's hard to see the good.
But Father I know You love me,
I just wish I understood.
I do the things I despise,
Because I want to be beautiful,
In my own eyes.
The truth is I hate everything about me.
My heart is always doubting.
Doubting what good people see in me.
Half believing, half doubting.
Doubting their reasons for loving me.
Doubting even Your love for me.
Focusing on my own perpetual pain.
Putting others before me always,
Always.
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