Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Cold...
And many false prophets will rise up and deceive and lead many into error. And the love of [a]the great body of people will grow cold because of the multiplied lawlessness and iniquity, But he who endures to the end will be saved.
Matthew 24:11-13
Real tears are not those that fall from the eyes and cover the face, but those that fall from the heart and cover the soul.
There was once a time when I could just close my eyes and feel God's embrace. It was second nature to me, who I was built to be. My heart is grieved because I have found myself in the place of numbness with
Matthew 24:11-13
Real tears are not those that fall from the eyes and cover the face, but those that fall from the heart and cover the soul.
There was once a time when I could just close my eyes and feel God's embrace. It was second nature to me, who I was built to be. My heart is grieved because I have found myself in the place of numbness with
Matthew 24:11-13
And many false prophets will rise up and deceive and lead many into error. And the love of [a]the great body of people will grow cold because of the multiplied lawlessness and iniquity, But he who endures to the end will be saved.
Matthew 24:11-13
Matthew 24:11-13
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
I will show you...
Genesis 12
(Vs 1-3) Now the Lord had said to Abram: "Get out from your country, and from your father's house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed."
In the seasons where God has called us to be apart from our normality, or from the usual, or from the circumstances we may have lived in for many years, how often does He say "I will show you..."? I know in my life I've had many an instance where this has been the case. For the most part, it's been pretty easy for me to trust His leading, and then again there have been those times that it was difficult to walk by faith. Just like every other human being on the face of the planet, there's still that child like whine of, "But where are we going? Are we there yet?".
(Vs 4-9) So Abram departed as the LORD had spoken to him, and Lot went with him. And Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. Then Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot his brother’s son, and all their possessions that they had gathered, and the people whom they had acquired in Haran, and they departed to go to the land of Canaan. So they came to the land of Canaan. Abram passed through the land to the place of Shechem, as far as the terebinth tree of Moreh. And the Canaanites were then in the land. Then the LORD appeared to Abram and said, “To your descendants I will give this land.” And there he built an altar to the LORD, who had appeared to him. And he moved from there to the mountain east of Bethel, and he pitched his tent with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east; there he built an altar to the LORD and called on the name of the LORD. So Abram journeyed, going on still toward the South.
This portion of the chapter really stuck out to me. God leads Abram to the promised land, to the land He said "I will show you...". Abram was thankful that this land would be given to his descendants and built an altar, but then it says, "And he moved from there to the mountains east of Bethel", where he again built an altar to praise the Lord. My question is did God lead him away from that land? Or did he assume it was ONLY for his future descendants? Was he in disobedience in leaving the land God had directed him to? From this point on it doesn't say that God was leading him, just simply that he moved on.
(Chapter 12 vs 10-20, Chapter 13 vs 1-18) Reading on, it shows that Abram eventually made his way to Egypt, where he lied about Sarai being his wife to protect himself. Here is a man that walked with God, that was called a friend of God, and had been led by God to a land promised to he and his descendants, and yet he feared for his life. Why? Was he out of God's will by continuing on into Egypt? He went to Egypt because of famine in the land, but if this God who just led him through wilderness to a land flowing with milk and honey, wouldn't that same God also provide for him in the famine? Does our fear of what circumstances may look like lead us to leave our promise and to wander into the clutches of Egypt? Little did Abram know that Egypt would eventually turn his descendants into slaves and crush them underfoot. Pharaoh kicked them out of Egypt because Abram's sin of concealing his marriage with Sarai was bringing curses onto him.
(Vs 1-3) Now the Lord had said to Abram: "Get out from your country, and from your father's house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed."
In the seasons where God has called us to be apart from our normality, or from the usual, or from the circumstances we may have lived in for many years, how often does He say "I will show you..."? I know in my life I've had many an instance where this has been the case. For the most part, it's been pretty easy for me to trust His leading, and then again there have been those times that it was difficult to walk by faith. Just like every other human being on the face of the planet, there's still that child like whine of, "But where are we going? Are we there yet?".
(Vs 4-9) So Abram departed as the LORD had spoken to him, and Lot went with him. And Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. Then Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot his brother’s son, and all their possessions that they had gathered, and the people whom they had acquired in Haran, and they departed to go to the land of Canaan. So they came to the land of Canaan. Abram passed through the land to the place of Shechem, as far as the terebinth tree of Moreh. And the Canaanites were then in the land. Then the LORD appeared to Abram and said, “To your descendants I will give this land.” And there he built an altar to the LORD, who had appeared to him. And he moved from there to the mountain east of Bethel, and he pitched his tent with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east; there he built an altar to the LORD and called on the name of the LORD. So Abram journeyed, going on still toward the South.
This portion of the chapter really stuck out to me. God leads Abram to the promised land, to the land He said "I will show you...". Abram was thankful that this land would be given to his descendants and built an altar, but then it says, "And he moved from there to the mountains east of Bethel", where he again built an altar to praise the Lord. My question is did God lead him away from that land? Or did he assume it was ONLY for his future descendants? Was he in disobedience in leaving the land God had directed him to? From this point on it doesn't say that God was leading him, just simply that he moved on.
(Chapter 12 vs 10-20, Chapter 13 vs 1-18) Reading on, it shows that Abram eventually made his way to Egypt, where he lied about Sarai being his wife to protect himself. Here is a man that walked with God, that was called a friend of God, and had been led by God to a land promised to he and his descendants, and yet he feared for his life. Why? Was he out of God's will by continuing on into Egypt? He went to Egypt because of famine in the land, but if this God who just led him through wilderness to a land flowing with milk and honey, wouldn't that same God also provide for him in the famine? Does our fear of what circumstances may look like lead us to leave our promise and to wander into the clutches of Egypt? Little did Abram know that Egypt would eventually turn his descendants into slaves and crush them underfoot. Pharaoh kicked them out of Egypt because Abram's sin of concealing his marriage with Sarai was bringing curses onto him.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wow, it's been far too long since I've been on here. It's been a crazy ride since September. I found out I was pregnant October 12th, and since then my world's been a bit of a whirlwind. Funny thing is God still has me on the same subject. I HAVE to talk to my dad, I have to clear up how I'm feeling on the inside about him and about us. I know it's important to mend or at least allow myself to heal in this area. This is a short blog, I know, but this is where I'm at at the moment. A little shocked that I'm still dealing with this, but I must make ammends if not for my father, for me.
Dear Dad,
This is very hard for me to say, partly because I don't want to disappoint you, and partly because I do not want to hurt you. It's also because of these reasons that I haven't brought these feelings to your attention previously. When I was little, I felt so proud to be your daughter. My dad was the cool dad that everyone knew. He was the hardworking dad that worked very hard to provide us with a loving home, and with lots of good things. He was the dad that was corny and always made me laugh at his goofy jokes, which by the way I am also extremely corny myself!
You are still all these things to me. But about 15 years ago, when you and mom divorced, it seems like everything changed. I don't blame you and I don't blame mom. I know marriage takes equal effort. I have forgiven both you and mom for your actions during the divorce because I know you were both coming from a place of deep hurt. I'm saying all this to let you know that the past is the past and I don't count any of it against you.
I do think though, that at that time our relationship drastically changed. I think because we were all dealing with such a deep hurt, and none of us really knew how to process it. You were dealing with your's, mom was dealing with her's and we kids were dealing with our's. None of us was strong enough to help the others. I feel like at that time you had so much pain and disappointment that you drew way back, and when I went to live with mom you really withdrew your relationship with me. We didn't talk for 3 years, and at that time I felt very rejected by you. I know that I didn't leave on the best terms, and I'm sure that I did and said hurtful things, but I was the child in the situation. I never expected that that would be the end of our relationship. It wasn't until 3 years later when I approached you that things between us actually started to heal. I felt so rejected by you and the entire Gorman side. For three years I never saw a Christmas card, or received a call on my birthday, and for a 14 year old that's a blow to the heart. I didn't leave because I didn't love you, I left because I had to take care of myself, and I felt that mom's was a better place for me to do that at the time.
Now please keep in mind I'm not telling you all this to hurt you. I just feel that our relationship can't grow until I get some of this off my chest. Honestly, I miss my Daddy. I miss the relationship we did have when I was a kid. I want you to be involved in my life. I don't like having a call with you every couple of weeks, just to see how you're doing, I want you to be involved in my life, and in your grandchild's life.
Dear Dad,
This is very hard for me to say, partly because I don't want to disappoint you, and partly because I do not want to hurt you. It's also because of these reasons that I haven't brought these feelings to your attention previously. When I was little, I felt so proud to be your daughter. My dad was the cool dad that everyone knew. He was the hardworking dad that worked very hard to provide us with a loving home, and with lots of good things. He was the dad that was corny and always made me laugh at his goofy jokes, which by the way I am also extremely corny myself!
You are still all these things to me. But about 15 years ago, when you and mom divorced, it seems like everything changed. I don't blame you and I don't blame mom. I know marriage takes equal effort. I have forgiven both you and mom for your actions during the divorce because I know you were both coming from a place of deep hurt. I'm saying all this to let you know that the past is the past and I don't count any of it against you.
I do think though, that at that time our relationship drastically changed. I think because we were all dealing with such a deep hurt, and none of us really knew how to process it. You were dealing with your's, mom was dealing with her's and we kids were dealing with our's. None of us was strong enough to help the others. I feel like at that time you had so much pain and disappointment that you drew way back, and when I went to live with mom you really withdrew your relationship with me. We didn't talk for 3 years, and at that time I felt very rejected by you. I know that I didn't leave on the best terms, and I'm sure that I did and said hurtful things, but I was the child in the situation. I never expected that that would be the end of our relationship. It wasn't until 3 years later when I approached you that things between us actually started to heal. I felt so rejected by you and the entire Gorman side. For three years I never saw a Christmas card, or received a call on my birthday, and for a 14 year old that's a blow to the heart. I didn't leave because I didn't love you, I left because I had to take care of myself, and I felt that mom's was a better place for me to do that at the time.
Now please keep in mind I'm not telling you all this to hurt you. I just feel that our relationship can't grow until I get some of this off my chest. Honestly, I miss my Daddy. I miss the relationship we did have when I was a kid. I want you to be involved in my life. I don't like having a call with you every couple of weeks, just to see how you're doing, I want you to be involved in my life, and in your grandchild's life.
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